What a wonderful way to enhance your relationship. Learn Tantric Kriya Yoga - White Tantra together and you will put "two and two" together to know how to utilize these practices in union.
Excerpts from the book Meditation and Tantra by David and Ellen Ramsdale:
The key that makes Tantric sex real Tantra-is whether the person is really sincere about making an effort to go beyond the self or not. Getting a little loose, a little open feels good. And it's certainly healthy. But real Tantric sex blows your mind completely because it takes you beyond all of your conceptions of everyday reality - you taste the transcendent unity. Your life can never be the same.
The classic descriptions of the Tantric orgasm talk about a unitary or fusion experience. This is where it can get a little confusing. It is possible to have some sort of fusion experience via drugs, at a party, dancing, at a sporting event. The energies harmonize and merge and there is a moment where you feel like you are "one."
The "oneness" of any real Tantric experience, however, is radical oneness. It rips your mind off. It alters your view of reality. It focuses you to reconsider the purpose of your life and who and what you are. It takes you closer to answering the question "Who am I?"
If your intent is to do Tantra, then the bottom line is that you need to have regular meditation practice or a similar self-discipline for self transcendence that gives you the all-important reference point. Then your involvement in sex means you are bringing an enhanced awareness via meditation to your sexual experiences.
The point of sex meditation or Tantric sex is that it will take you out of your head and down into your body and your heart. As Fritz Perls said, "lose your mind and come to your senses." Tantra is all about learning to let go of the mind and discover your supreme Self hidden deep in the heart.
Paradoxically, by gong deep into your familiar, the physical body in a conscious, loving manner, as a yoga, you discover a deeper, inner body, a body that is pure presence and has no form. When you are lost in love, when you are swept away by a current of ecstasy during lovemaking, when you are melting into the clear light space above your head during the orgasm, when you are fused as one via the Tantric energy climax, you experience this.
Tantra is about the lighthearted joy of bodylessness, of formlessness. Admit it. During your really great orgasms, you completely lost track of who you are, of your body of your partner - it all just simply melted away, overwhelmed by the power. Usually we are wary of this idea of having no body. But in Tantra we discover that it is fun!
Ultimately, lovers have as their nature joyous, open luminous oneness. In Tantra, we go through the body to the source of the body to the true body. By totally feeling the body, we actually taste a purity that is fully spiritual. Yes, the body is the temple, but we must go deeply into it and explore it completely if we are to find the inner shrine. Awake and aware, we celebrate the formless ocean of cosmic joy."
